Use positivity to influence people 💖

I have found that I become more idealistic as I grow older. That idealism is owed partly to the realization that most people, on an individual level, are good.

 

Verbally acknowledging the good that people have within them only reinforces it.

 

Doesn’t that seem like a better way to mold people, rather than critiquing them?

 

That is not to say that criticism doesn’t have a place. It does in a relationship where you have built trust with the person you are talking to. For criticism to work, both parties need to understand that the critique is targeted towards an action, rather than the character of the person taking action.

 

In relationships where that trust is yet to be built, you can—for the lack of another term—give people a bit of imposter syndrome.

 

Can imposter syndrome be a good thing?

 

Imposter syndrome implies that someone doubts their abilities, qualities or skills. Doesn’t sound great, but-

 

Doubt helps.

 

When there is a gap between what people expect of you, and what you believe about yourself, it’s natural to seek to fill that gap.

The opposite is also true for many. A bigger perceived gap may lead to discouragement.

 

Feeling like an imposter can lead to something productive—with positivity. It’s much more fulfilling to live up to something good. That’s where your prowess at showing appreciation comes into play.

 

Not all compliments are effective

 

An effective compliment needs to be as well thought out as an effective critique.

 

It’s important to understand that for many people, accepting compliments can be hard. Humility and low self-esteem can both play a role here. 

 

Effective compliments should:

 

• Be honest – You need to point out a trait that already exists in the person you’re talking to.
• Be specific –  Figure out what people value in themselves.
• Be useful – Is there a solid take away from your compliment?

 

The most effective positivity involves identifying the good qualities someone already has, and acknowledging them. 

 

Find someone’s moments of honesty, confidence or kindness and let them know you notice. Just something to consider when you’re sending your next thank you email, sales pitch, or making calls to supporters.

 

See you next time,

Mukundan