What does it really mean to listen👂?

The relationship between listening, questioning, and convincing may not always be clear.

 

To understand the importance of listening (and how to do it right), we need to understand this relationship.

 

Take the Socratic method. Dialogue here involves one party using a series of questions to lead the other to rethink what they believe is true. This requires hearing and understanding the thought process by which someone arrived at a certain belief.

It’s an alternative method of teaching that involves informed questioning. In a way, marketing your brand, your cause, or a product is teaching people about it too. 

 

Let’s talk about how focusing on listening rather than speaking may help you get what you want from the people you talk to.

 

Here, I refer to speaking and listening in the context of speech, as well as communication through text (or images).

 

Your goals, and how listening helps

 

Listening, simply put, allows for the transfer of information from one person to another. 

 

Active listening—productive listening—is more than just hearing what someone has to say. It leads to one or both parties deriving something new (an idea or an action-point) as a result of the conversation. 

 

And that’s where your goals come into play.

 

What “new” thoughts do you want to bring to the mind of the person you are talking to?

You may want to convince someone to give to your fundraising campaign (lead them to the idea of making a donation) or buy a product (convince them that they need what you are offering).

 

Here’s how you can achieve your conversational goals:

 

How can you (productively) listen?

 

The more you know, the more avenues of questioning you have.

 

Listening allows you to ask follow-up questions. Questions lead people to reassess their presumptions or form new ideas. That in turn can lead you to achieving your goals for the conversation. Provided, of course, that you ask the right questions.

 

A script that is built with active listening principles in mind can keep you on track when you are in a conversation.

 

Get out the vote campaigns do this very well. Canvassing often involves asking leading questions like:

 

• Do you have a plan to vote on election day?
• Do you know where your polling place is?
• Do you need help getting there?

The questions become more targeted as they go, taking the voters’ circumstances into account. By the end of the conversation, the voter has a rough idea of how they are going to vote on election day. This has been shown to significantly increase the likelihood that constituents will vote (by almost 10%).

 

Impromptu conversations, on the other hand, require you to quickly understand the opposite parties’ point of view and beliefs. Like with many things, consciously practicing listening, and gauging results from one line of questioning vs. another, will improve your skills.

 

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To conclude – If you want to build valuable relationships, you need to have productive back-and-forths with your audience.

 

Related note: I would love to hear your thoughts on this newsletter. If you have any feedback, or topics around communication that you would like to read about next, just reply to this email. I promise to listen :).

 

See you next time,

Mukundan